Lela Fields - March 31, 1910 - March 12, 2009

Mama Fields was an inspirational women. She was strong... strong work ethics ...strong faith ... a strong mother. When I married her son I didn't realize what an influence she would have on my life and the lasting love I would have for her.

She came from a simple background. She picked cotton, worked as a domestic and raised four children on her own. She was strong willed and she set an example on all who knew her. She buried two daughters and maintained her faith through out all of that. When Mary Etta died she gave me strength because I knew she had gone through the same thing and came out stronger. She always told me to trust in God and just do the best you can.

When her son and I were going through some very rough times just before our divorce she came and got the children and I to spend a week with her. She literally put me in her bed and held me and comforted me all night. I could feel her strength reaching my soul. For her I gave my marriage one last attempt but when it failed a few months later but I knew I had done the best I could just like Mama said, "just do the best you can, child".

We remained in contact for the next twenty six years. She sent her daughter, my sister in law, to visit over Christmas vacation when Mary Etta was diagnosed with cancer.

Mama lived to be 98, just a few days short of 99 birthday. At her funeral I watched four grandsons and a granddaughter weep. They will all miss her. She raised three of those grandchildren. One a major in the army, one a high school math teacher, all her grandchildren successful and well educated and well spoken. Her legacy.

I was so glad my son, daughter in law and granddaughter were able to get to South Carolina before she died. She hadn't seen Mikey since he was three. As he held her hand apologizing for not coming sooner she squeezed his hand. She had not talked for several days but I know she knew he was there. Mama's bond with her children was too great for her not to have known he was at her side.

Mikey met his cousins he hadn't seen since he was three. You could see the bond between them. Not only did they look so much alike but there was such a bond...Mama's bond. They are now calling each other every few days and plan on spending time together this summer.

And for me such a blessing. I had been gone from the family for 26 years but they still called me Aunt Carol. And wonders of wonders they are calling me every few days. These grown men calling me because they missed me too. Pretty amazing. And even now I weep with wonder.

When I saw how much my children had missed being a part of the family I was pretty angry at their Dad for not keeping them involved in their lives. But then I remembered how Michael held his grandmother's hand and I knew we were always a part of their lives. I thought about the Christmas decorations that hung on the tree each Christmas that held pictures of the cousins.

Mama passed on a legacy to her children, her grandchildren and to me. I knew if she could survive all the pain of living I could too. She was my rock and I will miss her but every time I look at my children and grandchildren I will see her strength. And every time I am challenged and want to give up I will remember her words, "just do the best you can, child". I will remember how she trusted in God for her strength and her salvation.

Mama welcomed me in to her family, this white girl from Dundee. But more importantly she welcomed my children from my previous marriage. She was their grandmother and she treated them just like she did her other grandchildren. And for that I will always be grateful. When we came back from Panama, Mama planted a cotton bush and a peanut plant in her garden so Mary Etta and Andy would see how cotton and peanuts were grown. Only someone who has tried to blend a family together will really understand what it meant to me for her to include my children in her love.

Well, Miz Lela, you rest in peace. You deserve it. You worked hard all your life and you created quite a family. I will always miss you but I have you in my heart and I will just do the best I can.

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

LETTERBOXING

I went to Sacramento last weekend to see the girls and be there while Isaac had his back surgery. Which went well by the way. I recently visited a website that described "Letterboxing". People hide a "treasure" then leave clues on a website for people to follow then find the "treasure". Apparently "Letterboxing" it is quite widespread around the world. So in the spirit of adventure Jenny, the girls and I spent Sunday going on our first treasure hunt. Armed with the clues we spent the first hour and a half hiking through the woods and digging around trees and under rocks. Since we weren't getting any where we decided to go back to the car to reconnoiter. Re-reading the clues we realized we had not followed them. We found the start of the trail not the end where we had been searching and after about an hour Jac and Abyah found the buried treasure. It was a log book where you write your name and date then rebury. We had written a quick letter telling a little about ourselves which we added to the treasure. Actually it was a tupperware bowl sealed in several sealed plastic baggies. We had so much fun!!! This is a great activity for children and I highly recommend it. It would be a great activity for a birthday party or a grandparent-grandchild adventure. Jac and Bubba want to do their own treasure hunt so they are going to ask Grandpa Brisco (Jenny's Dad) to help them find a good location on public land to hide their own "treasure". Then Jac will write the clues and put them online at the website. Here is the website that describes letterboxing and where you find the "treasure hunts" in your area. We will do one each time I go to visit.

http://www.atlasquest.com/

I am looking forward to our class reunion. It is hard to imagine we have been out of high school for 45 years. I don't feel that old. But it will be fun to get together with old friends.

Brooklyn gets cuter every day. Living in Mike and Michelles "backyard" I see Brookie everyday. After a day at work I love playing with her. She is so good natured and happy that the stresses of the day melt away.

Mike had a big shock Friday. The company he had worked for for 9 years, Empire Pacific Windows, fired him. Unfortunately I could see the writing on the wall a year ago when Mike had his boss over for dinner. I seldom use the "race card" but I told Michael then to watch himself because his boss was a serious racist and that no amount of selling windows would save his job. And unfortunately I was right. After being transferred to LA Mike has consistently built up a business with no help from his company. They refused to spend any marketing dollars to make their prominence known. Mike has sold almost a million dollars in windows in the past year and after developing business relationships with contractors and window vendors he was asked to turn over his territory to another sales rep well known for his sales of cocaine rather then windows. Mike was given a new territory.....Compton. He already has several job offers pending so he will be all right. The unethical business practices of companies for the past eight years must be turned around by our new president. Countless lives have been changed by the past eight years of malice against the American people brought about by criminals pretending to be elected officials. I thought the shame of the 60's, Vietnam, taught us to be less trusting of our government but nothing prepared us for the reign of terror the Bush family and his cronies, the oil companies and financial institutions inflicted on the American people. They had no responsibilities except to line their pockets with the souls of the American populace. I know we are looking to Obama to be our Savior but it will take many years to undo what the Bushite's reign of greed has done to America. I suppose there are still a few who may look at the Republican party with favor but they need only look at their 401K plan to see how much he cared for the people who wanted him elected.

Love to you and yours,

NanaCarol

Mother In Law Apt

Mike and Michelle found a house to rent that has a mother-in-law behind it. This is quite common here in California. So I will inhabit the mother-in-law apartment. Diane was quite upset but fortunately she found another renter right a way. I have spent today going through my stuff. It is amazing how much you accumulate in just a few months. I went through my closet and got rid of the clothes that no longer fit because I have lost weight. That feels good by the way. The weight loss is going slower but I am still losing. My goal is to be unrecognizable by the class reunion.

I have been in training for my new position at work. It is a lot of details to learn but having worked in conjunction with this position I have an advantage over a new hire.

This weekend passed with out a date. I kind of expected my friend from last weekend to call. But he didn't but he did send an email mentioning it had been 8 days since he saw me. I am not sure what he meant by that. This dating thing is so weird. I am not sure if I was supposed to call him to arrange a date. Does that mean I pay? The last time I dated was before marriage and the boy still paid. I guess I will wait and see. Maybe I should rename my blog Still Single in Burbank.

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

Nigerian Dating Scams

As I noted in my last blog I experienced the Nigerian Dating Scam that has been featured on Oprah. After the "Irish" Nigerian who wanted me to send him 5K, another fellow and I exchanged emails. He said he was a 66 year single dad and lived in California. Again his emails seemed disjointed so after the first few I received I stopped emailing him back. A couple of days later I received a bouquet of 50 red roses and a teddy bear delivered to my job. The card threw me for a loop. The guy professed his undying love. I had told him in my first couple of emails where I worked. (not so smart). Suddenly I thought I had a crazy stalker and was real glad he didn't have my home address or phone number. I emailed him that evening and told him I wasn't impressed and he needed to stop. I actually was a little scared he might show up after work so I took several precautions. Mike, Michelle, Brooklyn, Maddie and I went to Sacramento for the holiday and that Friday when I returned to work I received another even bigger bouquet, a teddy bear and a box of chocolates.(Where is forrest Gump when you need him) When I got home that night I started thinking about Nigerian scams and googled it and found a website dedicated to Nigerian Dating Scams. It seems they go into dating sites, put pictures they have stolen off of the Internet and post profiles of people that seem quite genuine. When they don't have any luck "hooking" the man or women they are trying to scam they start sending flowers purchased with stolen credit cards. The person sending me the flowers was actually text book in how the scam works. Unfortunately he didn't realize he was dealing with someone who was neither desperate, lonely or stupid to send money or fall for their scam. I called the flower company and said I understood they could not tell me who sent the flowers but I told them I thought they were paid for with a stolen credit card. I "suggested" they check because I felt there would be a third order placed. She checked and said I was right it was done with a stolen credit cards.

From my research on the web I learned that in the last 90 days men and women from the US have sent over a million dollars to Nigerians whom they think they are in love with. I spent the better part of Sunday reading the saddest emails from people who have been scammed. It is hard to understand why someone would fall for the scams but they do. I followed the instructions on the website sending them the email address of this person, and blocked them from being able to communicate with me and reporting the incident on an FBI website for this particular problem. I also reported them to the dating web site so they pulled their profile and I pulled mine. I am not going to use this website again although I know what to look for.



I did meet a very nice man and we lunch this week and then dinner on Friday night. He is 72 years old and very involved in the Episcopalian Church. He is very nice and unfortunately we have something in common. He lost his only child to cancer ten years ago. When we had dinner he brought a poem he had written when his son died and it reminded me so much of the poem I wrote when Mary Etta died. He is very close to his daughter in law who has never re-married and his twin grandchildren so he isn't alone alone. But seeing the sad desperation in someones eyes who has lost a child makes you wish you didn't have this in common. No matter how long it has been you recognize the pain. I don't know if he will call me again but I enjoyed meeting him.



So I know there are good men out there I just need to hone my skills in reading their initial emails to weed out the scammers.

As I mentioned above we went to Sacramento for Thanksgiving and it was wonderful but too short. The highlight was seeing Brooklyn meet her Uncle Isaac. It was the most poignant moment. Brooklyn looked into his eyes like she was imprinting him on her soul and vice versus. You can see this moment on http://fieldsfamilywebsite.web.officelive.com/Brooklyn.aspx . I don't think I have ever seen this kind of a moment before and we all saw it. It was as if she knew him. It was a Kodak moment and thank goodness Michelle took a picture.

Another exciting bit of news. I was offered a promotion at work. And after careful consideration I accepted. It is more money and a lot more work but I think it is the first step to the position I want that will bring me back to Oregon in a few years. I work closely with this position that is located in our field offices and I don't think for the most part it is being done very well and I think I can not only do it but set a model for the rest of the field offices. In part from my experience at Xerox/Tektronix. I didn't think I was really interested in another career but apparently I was wrong. My competitive nature seems to take control. After I was offered the position I knew I couldn't reject it and see someone else get the position. Of course I felt honored being asked because I am truly the one with the least seniority but I think I have the best experience for the position and apparently my manager and the VP thought so too.

Well it is time to get on with my day,
Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

Dateless in Burbank

I spent this last week much as I did the week before. Nothing really new and the dating scene is pretty nonexistent. I did have a really strange experience. I have been emailing a gentleman from Georgia who said he was from Ireland and new to this country. His emails were a bit odd as he seemed to rattle on rather like he was copying from a relationship book. I even commented on it. It was like he didn't even read my emails. He told me a couple of weeks ago that he had to go back to the UK because he won a bid on building some sort of project. He continued to send rather strange emails and yesterday I got the clincher. He said there had been a piece of equipment stolen and could I loan him $5000 dollars to replace it. I didn't answer and then reported him to the dating web site as a scammer. They immediately pulled his ad. I got a little curious and spent Saturday night (because I have no dates and a lot of time on my hands)looking on some other dating web sites and found him on another under a different user name. He was ignorant enough to put a picture. I reported him and sent a copy of the email and they pulled his ad. I actually don't think it was an actual person. I think it was something like the Nigerian scam that occasionally turn up in your email. I find it hard to believe that anyone falls for that but I read about the women in Sweet Home that lost everything to a Nigerian scam. I decided that reporting him to the web sites wasn't enough so I emailed yahoo so they could monitor his email or something. They are investigating. I am sure there are a lot of guys out there like that but it is hard to imagine anyone being gullible enough to send anyone money or anything else for that matter.

I still feel meeting someone on line is safe if you use common sense. I email a couple of guys and have developed quite a friendship with one. Since he is across the US I will never meet him but it is fun to get acquainted that way.

I spent the day with Brooklyn, Mikey and Michelle. She is so much fun and so adorable. She is so advanced for her age. One of the new things is she gives kisses. Jaclyn called Saturday and told me she was student of the month and tried to sound so blase about it. Abyah turned 8 Saturday with a pizza party with friends. I have been asking her what she wants for her birthday since we will celebrate it when we go up for Thanksgiving and she finally decided she wants a game for the WII called WII Cheer. I looked it up and seems to be a great game, more exercise then game.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends,
Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

SMOKIN!

Fortunately we are far enough from the fires that we are in no danger but the air quality is horrible. I have not been able to walk for two days now. I learned after the last fire that was at the studio where old film was burned that you have to stay inside and run the air conditioner to avoid smoke inhalation. If you all remember I ended out in the hospital over night getting inhalation therapy for my asthma.



Yesterday I was driving to my dentist and could see the smoke billowing over the hills. So many people have lost their home and apartments. Of course most people who had homes had insurance but most people don't have renters insurance and will out of luck. Landlords only replace the building not the renter's personal contents. If only California could get some good old Oregon rain.



We did have a week of cloudy rainy days and if you can believe it or not I missed the sunshine. Pray that I am not turning into a Californian. I guess I better get my Birkenstocks out and wear them for a few days to remind myself that I AM AN OREGONIAN!



I haven't done much for the past few weeks. I have spent quite a bit of time at Mike and Michelle's playing with Brooklyn who now LOVES her Nana. In fact I am going over for lunch in a bit. Brooklyn is just so adorable. Her latest is watching Maddie and giggling at her. It is the cutest. Because she is using her hands so much when Maddie reaches down Brooklyn pokes her in the eyes and pulls on the skin on her face and Maddie just licks her.



Mike, Michelle, Brooklyn and I are driving up the Wednesday before Thanksgiving to spend the day with Isaac and family. I hope that Andy is flying in too. We will have to drive back Thanksgiving evening but at least we will be together for Thanksgiving. Christmas Mike, Michelle and Brooklyn are flying home to Minnesota to spend a week with the her family and I know her family can hardly wait to see Brooklyn. I will have to work the day after Christmas so I will spend Christmas here with Diane's family. It will be a big Italian Christmas which will include singing around the piano. I think it will be a lot of fun.



Halloween at Aramark was an event. Most people dressed up and they put so much pressure on me to dress up the night before Halloween I scrambled to get a costume. I stopped at Rite-Aid and wandered around looking for inspiration when I spotted a package of the small individual packs of cereal and got inspired. I took the boxes and used tape and stuck them on a shirt with plastic knives sticking out of them and dripped red on a the shirt and said I was a cereal killer. I didn't win any prizes but got a lot of laughs. Of course being so close to Hollywood there were amazing costumes but hey anyone can dress as Moses. It was great fun and I have put on my think cap for next year. Any suggestions?

I am still trying to figure out Senior Dating. Last night I was IM one fellow, emailing another and texting yet another all at the same time. It was hilarious and I realized I didn't care if I met any of them. It was just great fun flirting with them. More on this subject later.

Have to run to rescue Brooklyn from her parents so we can have some fun.

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

Internet Dating

There has been absolutely nothing exciting happening in Burbank for the last couple of weeks. I house sat for Mike and Michelle and little Brooklyn when they went up to Oregon to visit their friends and introduce Brooklyn to her Uncle Andy. Who by the way has lost 100 pounds. Isn't that amazing. He looks great. So while they were gone I took care of their house and Maddie. Maddie went with me on my early morning walks and I tried to teach her to heel. I read up on it on the Internet and I think I would have been successful if her leash hadn't broken. I had to buy one from Rite-Aid so I could take her out at lunch and it was way too short. It worked in an emergency. She is such a smart dog. On one of the mornings I met this older gentleman on the bike path and I rained Maddie in so she wouldn't jump on him and lick him to death. He was carrying a golf club and raised it and said keep her away from him. I was so startled I didn't respond. She couldn't have reached him but I knew he was deathly afraid of dogs. I should have called the police but I told my roommate instead and she and all the dog people who are out when walks confronted him and told him the next time he walked with a weapon they would call the police. In fact she did call the police and they told her if he was out again with the golf club to immediately call 911. Well I guess he knows not to screw with Maddie and I again. All the dog people of Burbank are watching for him.



I am considering starting another blog. This one about the world of dating when you are a senior citizen. I haven't done much dating since my divorce in 1983. And for some odd reason I decided I want to date again. I must be a glutton for punishment or mentally deranged. So I actually had my first date. We had emailed and spoken on the phone for two or three weeks until I felt comfortable meeting him. It turned out he was so nice and we had the best time. We both acknowledged we felt very comfortable with each other like we had been friends for a long time. After our first date I heard from him a couple of times and then nothing. I have no idea what happened but apparently he didn't have as much fun as I thought. I was a bit disappointed but as the saying goes "one monkey doesn't stop the show".



Not to be discouraged I registered on a dating web site and that has been hilarious. You would think that men in their sixties would be different from boys in their teens. But they are not any different at 66 then they are at 16. They still bring up sex in their first emails. One guy from the Midwest wrote this long email without one single period and every other word was misspelled. And he was willing to re-locate. Lucky me.

Another fellow went so far as to leave me pathetically,what he considered to be erotic emails. I emailed him back that I thought that there might be 800 numbers he could call for that sort of thing.

Of course you have to be careful about this Internet dating but since I am basically untraceable and I use precautions I don't have serious concerns. You control how much they know about you. So we shall see where this takes me. Of course my first priority is taking care of myself so it will have to be a prince charming for me to give up my independence.


I will keep you all informed about my lovelife or lack there of.

Love to your and yours,
NanaCarol