What's Wrong With The United States

I agree with Byahs. There is something wrong with the United States government? Is it the American public or the ego-maniac politicians we elect. We are so divided as a nation that our elected officials can't accomplish anything. We are spending resources just to point fingers of blame, until we have forgotten what our nation needs.

We have forgotten how to work together and they have forgotten how to work. Politicians need to stop working for their party, and start working for the American public.

I have the perfect solution. Eliminate both political parties, do away with congress and the legislature. Send them all home. I think the White House would make a wonderful woman's shelter. Fill the Pentagon with day care and senior citizen centers and the rest can be made into affordable housing.

When a decision needs to be made ask the American public what they want. Have an election and I don't mean electoral votes, every vote counts. Which ever issue gets the most votes wins. Pay an accounting firm to count the votes, a few soccer Moms(and no I don't mean Palin) to disseminate the information and we are good to go until the next need for an election.

It is the KISS premise, keep it simple stupid. This would work on a state level too. Get rid of the pork bellies. This would eliminate the ego-maniacal politicians, the insidious political driven emails from both my Republican and Democratic friends.

We don't need elected officials, we would save money, we wouldn't have to read about their adulteress affairs and they could all go back to their home states to run a muck on their own dime.

All those in favor cast their vote.

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

HOW TO FILL A DAY WITH NOTHINGNESS

There is nothing like having to be home all day with your leg propped up. I am beleaguered with a leg infection which takes forever to heal. Now you might say that having to sit around with nothing to do but watch TV is the dream of every working person and for a week it is fun. However extreme boredom does set in around day five.

The first three days I watched non-stop movies. Then I switched over to HGTV for a couple of days. I had to stop watching HGTV because I felt compelled to start a home decorating project which is very difficult to do while laying around with your leg up.

So I thought I would write about how my days are spent (that is how bored I am). Of course the brushing of teeth and the eating of breakfast is the real start of the day but I feel the "reel" start is when I have my coffee, the leg is elevated, and the remote is in my hand. This is the real start of my day. I go to the guide for movies and start my selection of which movies I want to watch. I select them then save them for viewing at my leisure which is pretty much all day.

The criteria for this selection varies day to day. I generally do not select movies that are not on cable channels as I hate commercials. Yes, I know I can fast forward through the commercials but by the time I have revived from the semi drugged euphoria of movie madness I spend too much time fast forward, rewinding then fast forwarding again to find the end of the commercials. Get the picture? It is much easier to avoid movies with commercials.

Since my day is so unproductive I have decided to write quick critiques of the movies I watch with recommendations for my readers so they won't waste time on a movie that is not worth watching. Nothing is more wasteful in a day filled with waste, to spend twenty to thirty minutes watching a movie and finding it incredibly awful.

This morning I watched a delightfully quirky movie and I generally only use the word quirky when I describe Joan Cusack. Now she is delightfully quirky. However there is no other word to describe this movie but quirky.

The Chumscrubber is quirky. Basically it is about a teen who lives among adults that are more screwed up then he is and we all know that most teenage boys are screwed up. It starts with a tragic event and ends out warm and fuzzy with craziness in the middle. It is a movie that you can enjoy then forget, which is my kind of movie. I highly recommend this movie.

Mancora, a foreign film, takes place in Peru my old stomping ground. Again it is based on a young man's angst after losing first his mother then years later his father. It's worth watching and left me with a deep desire to speak spanish and eat ceviche.

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

FOR SALE, CHILDREN, TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER

Society has always treated children as a commodity. In Ireland, the Catholic Priests told young pregnant single women it was best if they "fostered" their children to British families. They were told they could get them back. These children were sent to Australia where they were abused by the Christian Brothers and told their parents were dead.

It goes on and on. Children sold to the highest bidder. We "say" the trafficking of children is illegal but yet we allow children to be adopted from foreign countries even while they have parents. Parents that are unable to support their children make the ultimate sacrifice by signing their children over to the highest bidders. Unscrupulous adoption agencies being the money makers. The children come to the United States, they lose their culture, their language, and sometimes their faith.
I can't help wondering if this isn't a form of slavery? The buying and selling of humans. You will say these children are brought here not to be slaves, but aren't they slaves to those parents who parade them around in society to make the parent appear as selfless pious Christians?

I am sure some of you feel they should be grateful for all the advantages we can offer them.....IPods and cell phones. And doesn't it make us look like wonderful Christians.....we are "saving" the under privileged "have nots".

Now in my Christian world the true "Christian" would help those parents become self-sufficient and able to raise their own children. Poverty shouldn't be a reason to give your children over to someone with better financial resources.

I do believe some children should be removed from their parents custody, in cases of child abuse.

If you want children and are unable to conceive, look at children in your "own back yard" instead of going to third world countries to steal/buy their children. If it takes too long to adopt children in the United States get the laws changed.

But somehow I don't believe the parents seeking children from poverty stricken countries have altruistic motives. I think if you looked in their souls you would find the need to appear like saviors. They want society to stoke and pet them to fulfill a need they have. I wonder what Jesus would say.

Understand I am not against adoption. I was adopted at four months of age from a women who didn't have the emotional where with all to raise a fourth child. I get that. And I do believe some children should be removed from their parents custody, in cases of child abuse.

My point is, while we campaign to shop locally, buy USA, shouldn't we also say adopt in the USA as well.

Love to You and Yours,
NanaCarol

Always Loving, Always Loved - Oct. 20th, 1966 - Dec. 26th, 1984

When she was born, I looked at her and thought she was the most beautiful baby in the world. In my twenty years I had never looked like anyone or had anyone look like me. Being adopted there are never familiar similarities to anyone in your family. But looking at her little face I saw bits and pieces of myself.

And when she died I lost more then bits and pieces of myself. More then bits and pieces that I never found again. Losing a child is indescribable, words can't speak to that kind of grief and pain.

An emmy award should be given to every parent who has ever lost a child and not turned to drugs or alcohol to anesthetize themselves against the pain. Because those of us that survive without drug or alcohol become award winning actors portraying the living.

You learn to smile and laugh. You fake happiness and mentally write suicide notes. You get really good at faking, until the time draws near to the anniversary of their death.

And then you can't hide it very well and those that know you best, that were there to share in the dreadful event know what you know. They know how hard each day, each minute is to your spirit.

Most of the year I can speak quite clinically about the daughter that once was then wasn't. But come the time between the anniversary of her birth and the anniversary of her death come the "dark" times when you mentally write those notes daily, sometimes hourly.

The times you can't tell if you are tired from lack of sleep or tired from the grief that wraps around your heart and squeezes.

Then when you are just about ready to grab that notepad, the date passes and the squeeze around your heart lessens and you breath a sigh and know that for a while you can go on. And you store away that notepad for another year.

At that time I remind myself how fortunate I was to have had a daughter so wonderful that the pain of losing her lasts a lifetime.

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

What Makes A Person A Parent

To me one of the great mysteries of the universe is how men can disassociate themselves from their children after a divorce. Is it guilt because they aren't there for the day to day routine of parenting? Or are they just totally irresponsible, heartless humans, or better said....inhumans.

During my marriage I never questioned the love my spouse felt for his children. When home, he was there, not mind wandering about life outside the home. Sure he worked long hours and much of the day to day parenting duties were my responsibility but that was not unusual for the times. He had a career and I only had a job, one I could call to tell them I had sick kids and wouldn't be in.

When the the big "D" happened and the kids and I returned to my hometown I felt although more difficult he would continue to see his children. Little did I imagine he wouldn't see his children for fourteen years.

He missed school plays, T-Ball, Football and countless wrestling matches. He wasn't there to see one son take first in district. He wasn't there to see the other son take second in state. He couldn't drive the 150 miles to see his son wrestle at Regionals. He couldn't drive 15 miles to watch football games where his sons were football heroes.

He wasn't there when his step daughter, who thought of him as her father, drew her last breath after a vigilante battle with cancer. He wasn't there when her casket was lowered into the ground while her brothers, tears streaming down their faces, said goodbye to their much loved sister.

He wasn't there in the months and years to follow as they struggled with their grief. He didn't call to console them. I don't think he even thought about their loss.

What kind of man was he? I don't know. I have thought and thought about what kind of man he is. He spent thirty years serving his country. He loves his sister, nieces and nephews and was a devoted son. But he couldn't put his children's needs in front of his own.

I consider myself to be a bright women but wonder how I could have been so stupid to think this man had the potential to be a father. It makes me question my ability to judge people. Maybe that is why I have never remarried.

What is even more amazing is that my story is not unique. I have heard so many sad stories from single Moms about the "lost" Dads. What causes this phenomenon? Is it a genetic flaw that only men carry? We know it is a character flaw, but could it be a genetic flaw?

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

It's Been A Long Time

It has been a long time since my last blog. Some of the fun of blogging came to an end when the blog I posted about the layoffs at my job, at a company that shall remain nameless, was found and read by someone then emailed all around my corporate office. I guess they had several meetings trying to decide what to do about the "corporate rebel". Of course no one told me. I could have explained that the only people that read my blog were my friends who didn't give a good God D*** about the company I worked for. They didn't know my readership was about 10 people a month. They finally asked me about it and seemed appeased by my limited readership. It was a pathetic waste of corporate time at a time when the company was losing money. It seems, as most of us know, there is little common sense in the corporate world today.

Oh well enough about that. We had a nice Thanksgiving. I longed for the days when I had all of my family together. As much as we want our children to grow up and become grown ups, we spend the rest of our lives missing them. What they should tell us when we are new parents is that we need to instill in our children that they can never live more then 50 miles from their parents.....ever.

The grandchildren are all fine. Abyah made the wrestling team. I think I am okay with that. I am not so sure that when I see her out on the mat I will be okay. I might run out on the mat to rescue her and pin her opponent. I am not so sure if she wrestle boys her Dad might not run to the mat to pin her opponent. I am sure I will have some good stories to tell about the exploits of her wrestling matches.

Jaclyn is doing well too. She has the funniest sense of humor. Between the mother and the Nana she is doomed to a quirky sense of humor. Fortunately she still thinks boys are stinky and is remaining a little girl for a little more. She is very very smart and does very well in school. Which makes me very happy.

Brooklyn is suppose to have a vocabulary of about 20 words at nearly two. She is about 16 months old and probably has at least a 200 + word vocabulary. She is in the infant class at her day care and we were very concerned when she started, afraid she would be picked on. However, it seems she is the class bully. There is a doll there that every child "knows" is Brooklyn's and they don't touch it. Until one day a little girl took the doll and Brooklyn "took care" of her. And just to prove her point she convinced the little girl to stand by the door that they weren't supposed to open. (It leads to the main lobby of the school) Brooklyn opened the door and shoved the little girl into the hallway, then closed the door and turned and smiled sweetly at the day care worker. They have decided she needs to be moved out of the infant class into the toddler class. They told Mike and Michelle, that Brookie is just too advanced and needs to be moved up. She is a sly one, that Brookie.

I am fine. But really miss Oregon. The class reunion has given me many moments of puzzlement. I have been married twice, recently tried to date and found my man picker is still off. I look at my classmates and the ones that are successful, retired and seem to be, not only content, but downright happy. Now I am a realist and know that they had to have had bumps along the way but somehow they worked through them. It sure makes a difference financially when two people spend their lifetime working together and at retirement they reap the benefits.

It seems there must be a secret in making a marriage work. I wonder if I asked each of my married classmates what their secret was, if I would get a different answer.

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol

Lela Fields - March 31, 1910 - March 12, 2009

Mama Fields was an inspirational women. She was strong... strong work ethics ...strong faith ... a strong mother. When I married her son I didn't realize what an influence she would have on my life and the lasting love I would have for her.

She came from a simple background. She picked cotton, worked as a domestic and raised four children on her own. She was strong willed and she set an example on all who knew her. She buried two daughters and maintained her faith through out all of that. When Mary Etta died she gave me strength because I knew she had gone through the same thing and came out stronger. She always told me to trust in God and just do the best you can.

When her son and I were going through some very rough times just before our divorce she came and got the children and I to spend a week with her. She literally put me in her bed and held me and comforted me all night. I could feel her strength reaching my soul. For her I gave my marriage one last attempt but when it failed a few months later but I knew I had done the best I could just like Mama said, "just do the best you can, child".

We remained in contact for the next twenty six years. She sent her daughter, my sister in law, to visit over Christmas vacation when Mary Etta was diagnosed with cancer.

Mama lived to be 98, just a few days short of 99 birthday. At her funeral I watched four grandsons and a granddaughter weep. They will all miss her. She raised three of those grandchildren. One a major in the army, one a high school math teacher, all her grandchildren successful and well educated and well spoken. Her legacy.

I was so glad my son, daughter in law and granddaughter were able to get to South Carolina before she died. She hadn't seen Mikey since he was three. As he held her hand apologizing for not coming sooner she squeezed his hand. She had not talked for several days but I know she knew he was there. Mama's bond with her children was too great for her not to have known he was at her side.

Mikey met his cousins he hadn't seen since he was three. You could see the bond between them. Not only did they look so much alike but there was such a bond...Mama's bond. They are now calling each other every few days and plan on spending time together this summer.

And for me such a blessing. I had been gone from the family for 26 years but they still called me Aunt Carol. And wonders of wonders they are calling me every few days. These grown men calling me because they missed me too. Pretty amazing. And even now I weep with wonder.

When I saw how much my children had missed being a part of the family I was pretty angry at their Dad for not keeping them involved in their lives. But then I remembered how Michael held his grandmother's hand and I knew we were always a part of their lives. I thought about the Christmas decorations that hung on the tree each Christmas that held pictures of the cousins.

Mama passed on a legacy to her children, her grandchildren and to me. I knew if she could survive all the pain of living I could too. She was my rock and I will miss her but every time I look at my children and grandchildren I will see her strength. And every time I am challenged and want to give up I will remember her words, "just do the best you can, child". I will remember how she trusted in God for her strength and her salvation.

Mama welcomed me in to her family, this white girl from Dundee. But more importantly she welcomed my children from my previous marriage. She was their grandmother and she treated them just like she did her other grandchildren. And for that I will always be grateful. When we came back from Panama, Mama planted a cotton bush and a peanut plant in her garden so Mary Etta and Andy would see how cotton and peanuts were grown. Only someone who has tried to blend a family together will really understand what it meant to me for her to include my children in her love.

Well, Miz Lela, you rest in peace. You deserve it. You worked hard all your life and you created quite a family. I will always miss you but I have you in my heart and I will just do the best I can.

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol