The Passing of People in Your Life

My cousin Barbara passed away a couple of weeks ago. She and my Aunt Orpha are the reason I am as normal as I am. I spent many of my weekends, holiday and summers at their ranch in Albany and it seemed I spent much of my time there snuggled up with one or the other. Barbara was 14 years older then me so she was like a big sister. Her room, which had huge french windows, faced the pasture where sheep grazed next to the woods of Knox Butte. Many summer nights we would lie in bed watching the twinkling stars and hear the occasional sounds of the sheep. Those nights we would talk about everything and always ended up toe wrestling.

When I wanted to go to church camp at Suttle Lake but was a little scared, my sister-cousin Barbara signed up as a camp counselor and spent several summers with 5 or 6 giggling girls. At the end of the week Aunt Orpha would pick us up and we would drive out to Eastern Oregon with no particular destination in mind for another few days. We would count jack rabbits and deer and stop for ice cream whenever we found somewhere in that remote area that had ice cream. We always stopped at Peterson's Rock Garden outside of Bend.

The time I spent with my Aunt Orpha and Barbara are the happiest memories of my childhood.

Barbara was diagnosed with Huntington's disease about 8 years ago. I went with her to hear her diagnoses and was stunned. Aunt Orpha was thought to have Huntington's too. This is a horrible disease. It is the slow deterioration of your body and mind but Barbara lived her last few years of life with grace and dignity.


I flew home for her funeral and was able to see friends and family that I dearly miss. Andy picked me up so I spent a few hours with him, then on to Stevie's home. He says he is my second daughter. Steve lost his long time partner David the month before. David was only 39 and his death was attributed to undiagnosed arteriosclerosis of the heart. It was sudden and shocking to everyone and oh so sad. That said, I enjoyed spending the night at Stevie's. We talked until I couldn't stay awake then slept with out waking once. Stevie has an airbed that is so comfortable.

My niece Debbie and I went to the funeral, and like all family weddings and funerals, there were lots of tear and lots of laughter. My Aunt Rachel has three boys (well they are grown) that are so funny. Only one came, Kerry, but he kept me laughing. In a perfect life I would live life surrounded by cousins Larry, Gary and Kerry. Now I wonder where they got their sense of humor. Aunt Rachel married Uncle Harry, then had Larry, Gary, and Kerry.

After the funeral I spent the next two days with Mary Etta and John. Seeing her so healthy reassured me after her huge scare with cancer. Her doctor made it sound so bad but her oncologist performed her surgery and she is now cancer free. No chemo. But I had to see her myself to make sure she is well and she is very well. We had dinner with her son and his wife, her other son and girl friend (who is a keeper) and grandchildren and I had the delight in teaching Ben, who is in third grade, the subtle game of last hit. Brook is in kindergarten and is all girl.

Mary Etta and I spent one day driving around Newberg and Dundee, visiting two cemeteries, her sister and brother and my daughter's resting places. And of course you can't go home without going to the Dairy Queen and having a foot-long hot dogs and hot fudge sundaes. Oh how I miss those. We parked in front of what was our high school if they hadn't torn it down, and reminised about our childhood. We really were lucky, we graduated a few years before drug era that complicated so many young lives. We just had fun. It was our most carefree time of life. I think that is why so many of us have remained good friends. We all have such good memories of growing up in Newberg.

And to conclude my losses, a male friend of mine whom I have been talking to on the phone for the last year, decided he didn't want to continue our friendship. And the way I know he didn't want to continue our friendship is he just stopped calling or returning my calls. He lives in South Carolina and we met on a web site and had spent a year getting to know each other with a lot of interest on his part. We were going to meet when he retired in a few months, or so I thought.

It still amazes me that there is no more maturity in a 61 year old man then in a 16 year old man. It is pretty dishearting to find he had so little regard for our friendship that he didn't feel the need to be a "grown up man" and let me know he was no longer interested.

At first when I didn't get any calls I was worried thinking maybe he was sick but then I thought to look on the web site where we met and there he was logged on, trolling for women. So he is alive and well. I am so glad I found out he has no integrity now, rather then wasting more time on the loser, because he is a loser. He just doesn't know what a great woman he lost. And as another great women once said, "As God as my witness, I will find a man worthy of me"

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol