Mama Fields was an inspirational women. She was strong... strong work ethics ...strong faith ... a strong mother. When I married her son I didn't realize what an influence she would have on my life and the lasting love I would have for her.
She came from a simple background. She picked cotton, worked as a domestic and raised four children on her own. She was strong willed and she set an example on all who knew her. She buried two daughters and maintained her faith through out all of that. When Mary Etta died she gave me strength because I knew she had gone through the same thing and came out stronger. She always told me to trust in God and just do the best you can.
When her son and I were going through some very rough times just before our divorce she came and got the children and I to spend a week with her. She literally put me in her bed and held me and comforted me all night. I could feel her strength reaching my soul. For her I gave my marriage one last attempt but when it failed a few months later but I knew I had done the best I could just like Mama said, "just do the best you can, child".
We remained in contact for the next twenty six years. She sent her daughter, my sister in law, to visit over Christmas vacation when Mary Etta was diagnosed with cancer.
Mama lived to be 98, just a few days short of 99 birthday. At her funeral I watched four grandsons and a granddaughter weep. They will all miss her. She raised three of those grandchildren. One a major in the army, one a high school math teacher, all her grandchildren successful and well educated and well spoken. Her legacy.
I was so glad my son, daughter in law and granddaughter were able to get to South Carolina before she died. She hadn't seen Mikey since he was three. As he held her hand apologizing for not coming sooner she squeezed his hand. She had not talked for several days but I know she knew he was there. Mama's bond with her children was too great for her not to have known he was at her side.
Mikey met his cousins he hadn't seen since he was three. You could see the bond between them. Not only did they look so much alike but there was such a bond...Mama's bond. They are now calling each other every few days and plan on spending time together this summer.
And for me such a blessing. I had been gone from the family for 26 years but they still called me Aunt Carol. And wonders of wonders they are calling me every few days. These grown men calling me because they missed me too. Pretty amazing. And even now I weep with wonder.
When I saw how much my children had missed being a part of the family I was pretty angry at their Dad for not keeping them involved in their lives. But then I remembered how Michael held his grandmother's hand and I knew we were always a part of their lives. I thought about the Christmas decorations that hung on the tree each Christmas that held pictures of the cousins.
Mama passed on a legacy to her children, her grandchildren and to me. I knew if she could survive all the pain of living I could too. She was my rock and I will miss her but every time I look at my children and grandchildren I will see her strength. And every time I am challenged and want to give up I will remember her words, "just do the best you can, child". I will remember how she trusted in God for her strength and her salvation.
Mama welcomed me in to her family, this white girl from Dundee. But more importantly she welcomed my children from my previous marriage. She was their grandmother and she treated them just like she did her other grandchildren. And for that I will always be grateful. When we came back from Panama, Mama planted a cotton bush and a peanut plant in her garden so Mary Etta and Andy would see how cotton and peanuts were grown. Only someone who has tried to blend a family together will really understand what it meant to me for her to include my children in her love.
Well, Miz Lela, you rest in peace. You deserve it. You worked hard all your life and you created quite a family. I will always miss you but I have you in my heart and I will just do the best I can.
Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol
Sunday, March 22, 2009
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